Dearest entrepreneurship, your tug on my life has been there for as long as I can remember. The desire to avoid working for the man led to studying your dark arts in college. I graduated and received a degree in your wicked ways. Your allure was enticing yet your name too hard to spell. Incorporating required becoming the man and what a drag that would be. The call of a career beckoned and your siren song faded.
A decade passed.
“Entrepreneurship” shortened to “founder”, which is much easier to spell. Incorporating no longer meant becoming the man and instead became a way to stick it to the man. Incorporating became a tool for savvy individuals to avoid taxation. Your sweet song beckoned once again, and this time I listened.
Oh, how I listened.
I incorporated. Yes, dear founding, I gave into your wicked ways and became a founder. I love you so. Oh, let me count the ways.
Your tax shelters and deductions provide sweet refuge.
When I was a lowly individual, annual taxes didn’t have much excitement. I took a standard deduction and had nothing to declare. Now that I am a corporation, your sweet deductions provide extra money to trickle-down into my pocket. Yes, sweet founding, you will make me rich with your pass-through taxation.
Your legal hoops proved I’m not a terrorist.
Oh founding, giving into your titillating throws meant opening a business checking account. The banker asked questions for twenty long minutes, yet your allure was worth the distraction from founding. In the end, the banker informed me I was not under investigation nor on a watch list. Dearest founding, you proved I’m an honorable citizen.
You made me a “founder”.
This is your greatest asset, fairest entrepreneurship. Despite having no products or success, I am now peers with Ev, Zuck, and Musk. When they start taking my calls, we’ll be bros united by our founder nature. Founding is a true achievement indeed! I can proudly declare my status on every social bio I own. Thanks to pursuing your embrace, I can laugh and look down upon those who ignore your love. Working is boring, founding is a life of adventure!
Yes, dear founding, you have made me new. To think, I ignored your advances and shunned your lustful signals for so long. In the end, all it took to enter your loving embrace was a simple filing fee. Oh, if I had only listened while a mere student.
Regardless, I became a founder.
And I love you.
Justin Cox, Founder