Write Now with Sili Recio

Who are you?

My name is Sili Recio. I'm a strategic communications consultant, herbalist, and writer currently living in Orlando, Florida.

What do you write?

First and foremost, I think I write for myself. I write stories that help people make sense of big feelings, especially the ones we often struggle to name. I say I write at the intersection of strategy, stories, and spells.

My latest book, written with my daughter Elena, explores grief through the imagination of a little girl who believes her grandmother is living just beyond the cemetery fence, in what she sees as a garden. That kind of perspective—where wonder and sorrow coexist—is very much the heart of the way I write. I don't think I avoid any themes. I write a lot about grief, which I don't think we talk about enough as a society. We are so death-phobic, and I think we miss the additional beauty and connection to the human experience by not talking about it.

I love writing. I love what I do. Writing allows me to create language for experiences that many people feel but don't always know how to talk about. One of the things that always makes my heart grow to 3 times its size is when someone says, "This is the story I needed when I was a child."

When a story helps someone feel seen—or helps a child start a conversation with a grown-up about something hard—that feels like meaningful work. I'm filled with gratitude that I can share words and feelings that soothe another person's heart.

Where do you write?

I used to think I had to have a very specific area. My desk, tidy with only paper and pen and/or my laptop. The first draft of The Other Side of the Garden was written as my daughter narrated the story in my OneNote app as we were cuddled in bed, talking.

I often still have fantasies of a neat desk, a library (with a ladder, of course), or a comfortable couch tucked away in a corner. But as I get older, I realize I don't fit the "writer" mold. I write at my desk, I write in my car, I write in the egg chair I got for the sole purpose of sitting criss-cross apple sauce outside with a notebook.

There's always a basket with a bag for my pens close by (I like Frixion, because who doesn't love to erase ink?), a notebook, a journal, and a book. Sometimes there's also a tarot deck thrown in there for good measure and future inspiration. I tend to write in bright spaces that feel grounding and calm.

When do you write?

When I was younger, I used to have fantasies where I'd wake up before sunrise, sit quietly at an old desk, and put pen to paper for hours at a time. Then I realize that is not how my brain works.

Recently, I was speaking with my editor, and she blessed me with the reminder that this is my process. What process, you ask? Ideas sometimes hit me out of the blue. I hyperfocus on that idea as soon as it hits, and I put down as many of my thoughts as possible. I stopped being hard on myself. I do tend to set goals for bigger projects, but I've noticed that my sweet spot is right when a thought hits me. I then use what comes out of those sessions as motivation for the next round.

There are times when I have a deadline. I definitely try to also have accountability partners when I am writing.

Why do you write?

At my core, I am a healer. That throughline has taken on a different shape as I've moved through life. Words are healing. I think above all, they heal me first. I write because I need the healing. The bonus of that has been that other people see themselves in what I write and connect with my writing in such a way that they, too, get a little healing along the way.

Writing helps me process my thoughts. It helps me sift through my feelings. It allows me to tell people what my heart feels and give it the proper weight. I learn so much from reading, and I think that maybe this is my way of giving back in hopes that someone can find a little speck of knowledge or understanding along the way.

My people fuel and motivate me. The way Elena laughs when we connect through a particularly silly moment, tears in her eyes, unable to catch her breath from the joy of the moment. Memories of holding my mother's hand, stories I remember her telling. The faraway look I sometimes see in my father's eye. They're all springboards to a story, to a truth. They inspire me to write pieces of their stories in my very own way.

Knowing that my words will outlive me inspires me to say the thing, to write the story, to live the tale. I want to know all the stories of the people I love. Because it's a gateway to better understand them, to better connect. Those stories tell me where I came from, and set the path for where I'm going. My own stories will do the same, but only if I tell them.

How do you overcome writer's block?

Never underestimate the power of a good hip shake to undo writer's block! I listen to music. Sometimes it's music of my own time ("old timey" as Elena calls it). Other times, I am called to listen to something I heard as a child or a new tune my daughter has introduced me to.

Getting in the kitchen and cooking while dancing (these two things go together like ginger ale and The Price Is Right when one is sick) helps me reset. It gives me another creative task to get into, and the bonus is that we get a yummy meal in the process.

Reading is another great way to overcome writer's block. I find it motivating, and other stories tend to light a spark for my own.

Bonus: What do you enjoy doing when not writing?

I love talking and laughing with my loved ones, breaking bread, and enjoying the company of my chosen family. Reading is ALWAYS at the top of the list of things I enjoy doing when I'm not writing.

Coloring and knitting probably round out that list, and gardening. My friends will tell you that I enjoy putting together a spreadsheet. But I think that's just my strategist's brain trying to organize and coordinate a particular set of data.

The older I get, the more I appreciate sitting in my backyard and watching the birds and the critters make their way through what must feel like an entire country, and not just my backyard. Oh, and my most favorite thing to do is sit by the ocean, but the water has to be crystal clear and just the right temperature. You can take a girl out of the Caribbean, but you can't get her to ever lose her love for the sea.

My thanks to Sili Recio for today's interview.