People Found in an Airport Lounge at 7 am on a Thursday

Airport lounges are a thing of wonder. Compared to the overabundance of noise and chaos that are most airports, lounges are another world. A world full of opulence and amenities and calm.

Peaceful, serene, calm.

Each airport lounge is filled with a cast of characters ready for The Breakfast Club. Or maybe Pitch Perfect? They’re kind of the same thing, aren’t they?

Anyway, lounges attract interesting people. Here’s who you might encounter in a lounge. At seven in the morning. On a Thursday:

The Cargo Dad

This man has had enough of this vacation. Running from place to place and making sure his kids are always happy takes its toll. He sits in the lounge’s comfortable chairs, legs spread wide, fast asleep. His head is tilted just so with mouth agape while his leather dad-sandals brush the floor. Oblivious to the father’s plight, the daughter sits next to him, content in quietly reading her book.

The Freeloader

You know the guy. He’s the one who takes a sample of everything just because it’s free. This guy has a plate loaded to the brim with things from the buffet. After all, he’s got to “get his money’s worth”, even though everything in the lounge is complimentary. It’s overindulging and he knows it, but he can’t back down now. He’s committed to his plate and will consume every last bite, by god, or else this whole thing would have not been worth the effort.

The Trust Fund Couple

This college-aged couple is disinterested in everything around them. To the average person, they’re wearing sweatshirts and yoga pants. But to the trained eye, their athleisure contains designer labels. They carry their passports in hand as a subtle hint they’re traveling abroad. The male grabs mimosas from the bar while the female scrolls The Gram. After fifteen minutes, they leave to board whatever spacious sky cabin will take them to their parts unknown. Maybe it’s New Jersey?

The Business Bros

These guys don’t arrive together, but once connected, it’s all cocktails and high fives. Clad in deal slides and sportcoats, these bros are ready to crush whatever business they’re heading off to. But first, they’ve got to totally slay that breakfast buffet. “Bro, you’ve got to try these eggs.” “Bro, I’m all about this bacon.” “Bro, how about this cocktail?!” The pack’s wild eyes roam the room looking for affirmation while everyone avoids their gaze.

The Business Babe

Unlike her counterparts, the Business Babe flies solo. She’s dressed for comfort but carries a blazer that instantly turns her tank top into a sophisticated blouse. She moves spreadsheets around on her computer while sipping a mimosa and gossiping to someone (herself?) through AirPods. While one-sided, anyone within a 15-meter radius can hear her conversation. “Can you believe he said that? And in the office? I can’t imagine what she thinks about all this.”

The Newbie

There’s always someone who’s never been there before. Instead of acting like they know what they’re doing, they need to catalog every moment on their phone. There’s a picture of the bar. A picture of the buffet. A picture of the magazine rack because no one will ever believe magazines are free for the taking! This person is set to enjoy every amenity available, whether they make their flight or not. Massage? “Yes, please!” Food and drinks?” Of course! Let me snap a picture first!”