A few years back I asked a simple question: What happened to Hollywood? At the time, box office numbers were way down and people were looking for answers as to why. Today you can’t say that’s the case. People are going to movies but the movies they are seeing are nothing more than mindless chatter garbage. So now, nearly four years since I first asked the question, I again want to know What happened to Hollywood?
Over the last decade or so the overall quality of product that Hollywood has been producing has reduced significantly. We’ve been given such a heavy dose of sequels, rebrands and cookie-cutter comedies that we as movie-going patrons have forgotten what a good movie actually is. Hollywood has force-fed us what they want us to have, and we’ve devoured it. Look at these upcoming releases: an X-Men sequel, Star Trek rebrand, Da Vinci Code prequel, Night at the Museum sequel and Terminator sequel — and that’s just this May. I kid you not!
So if everything that Hollywood is throwing at us is a rehashing of something we’ve already seen, why are we going to see it? It’s actually really simple: boobs, blood, booms and brainlessness. Everything Hollywood creates has copious amounts of these four things which translate into cold, hard cash. It’s no coincidence that all of the movies mentioned above are rated PG-13 or below (Terminator Salvation is not yet rated, but unconfirmed reports suggest a PG-13 rating). The highest sought demographic in any market, but especially Hollywood, are teenagers. So production companies figure out just how many boobs, blood, booms and brainlessness they can fit in while maintaining that coveted PG-13 rating so as to effectively rope in that sought demographic’ money. Want to know why there are fifteen versions of Saw, nine Step Up’s, a new Superbad copycat every summer and people like Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf have careers? Because teenagers spend $70 million on Fast and Furious on opening weekend.
It’s a vicious cycle. Hollywood creates the same few movies year after year, makes sure there is a good balance of boobs, blood, booms and brainlessness and teenagers go out and spend millions of their parents dollars seeing them. There’s no incentive to actually tell an original story because you can make much more money by remaking Friday the 13th for the tenth time.
So what’s wrong with Hollywood? We are. We’re the problem. We’re not demanding originality and creativity by actually going to see the few unique films that make the screen. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button opened to a measly $26 million. How can that even compare to Fast and Furious? We’re to blame.
So let’s fix it. Let’s start championing originality and start loathing useless boobs, blood, booms and brainlessness. Next Friday instead of seeing Beyonce in Obsessed (which I’ll put money on today to win the weekend) go see The Soloist instead. Let’s take Hollywood back and maybe, just maybe, I won’t have to ask “what’s wrong with Hollywood” in another four years.
If you spend as much time loitering on the internet as me, you may have already seen this; if not, well, prepare to be astounded. GM, the auto maker that you and I basically now own whether you like it or not, has created the future in modern transport. They’re calling it the P.U.M.A. which stands for Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility Project — I don’t know why they didn’t call it the more accurate PUMAP. Either way, this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen in awhile.
I'm a PUMA and I'm awesome. At least I think I am.
GM collaborated with Segway on this project, basically for the hell of it. I mean, since the Segway really revolutionized walking and everyone desired one, logically we’d all want some strange gyroscopic roadster. Hopefully you can see the sarcasm dropping off that last sentence. Really though, there’s no way anyone is going to want a roughly $5000 thing that rides at 35 MPH and goes a whole 35 miles before needing to be recharged. And by no one, I really mean no one. What exactly is the market for this thing?
And furthermore, since I’m now funding GM’s existence, I demand that my money be better spent researching and developing better, more viable products — you know, the kind that people will actually buy. Either that or the next time GM decided they can’t afford to continue being in existence, because it will happen again, maybe the government should say “no. You guys go and see what bankruptcy feels like and maybe you won’t make things that are ridiculous.”
It’s a pretty simple concept really, Charm City Cakes, home to TV’s Ace of Cakes, is the coolest place on earth. If you’ve never watched the show about cake maker Duff Goldman and his whacky crew consider yourself a complete outcast and go turn on your TV. Now. I’m still waiting. Ok, I’m glad you’re back and now you’re a more enlightened person.
Ace of Cakes has been on a number of years and I never cease to be amazed at the quality the bakery puts out. The cakes are really works of art that are meant to be eaten. But that’s not why Charm City Cakes is the coolest place on earth. No, the cakes have nothing to do with it.
After the years Chef Duff has been on the Food Network and all the success and fame that comes with that, he still genuinely cares about all of his cakes and all of the people that work for him. His staff are the same fun loving, zany people that they were on the first episode. The place just looks like an awesome place to work. Sure there’s some high pressure and intense projects, but come on, they have some fun there too.
Charm City Cakes is the coolest place on earth because of the super awesome people who work there. That’s all I wanted to say. Thanks for letting me say it. And for putting up with my stream of consciousness. Now, if you want to buy me a Charm City Cake, hook a brother up with some bananas foster, blueberry muffin or smores. Thanks! Oh, and check out Mary Alice’s blog. You’ll be glad you did.
Viral videos spread like, well, virus these days. Case in point this YouTube video below that has only been available a week but already has roughly eight million views and has been featured on CNN, Fox News and VH1. That’s ebola fast!
It’s pretty easy to see why this video has spread so quickly: it’s hi-freaking-larious. But here’s the thing, this kid is never going to get a job. At least not a normal one. It’s the day of the digital trail. Everything that goes online is remembered, forever. This post, this post will be read by some bumbling moron a thousand years from now when crabs are doctors and robots have their own devil. You know what I’m talking about.
But seriously, this video is never going to go away. When this kid is in high school he’s going to get beat up because he’s the stoned dentist kid. If he’s lucky enough to bring a girl home to meet his parents, they won’t be showing baby pictures, they’ll be showing when David was a YouTube celebrity. Then, when it’s time for David to get a job, his potential employer will not want his drug using self anywhere near their company. He’s basically going to have to become an actor — this is totally the kind of thing that would get shown on someone’s first visit to the Tonight Show. If acting doesn’t work out, I guess he could always be a dentist. That’d kind of be fitting. Or a bounty hunter. He could always do that.
Today Apple dropped a few bombshells announcing that they were ceasingtheirparticipation in the annual MacWorldconference and this year Steve Jobs would not be giving the keynote. In an equally surprising announcement Apple announced it was also cancelingChristmas. Tomorrow I’m sure Apple will announce it is canceling the value of it’s stock. High-oh! While Apple is currently in the mood to cancel things that have been a huge part of the company for years — I mean introduction of the iPod, iPhone and the iPod Hi-Fi — I’ve got a suggestion of something else they should cancel: the Dashboard.
The Dashboard has been a staple of OS X since 10.4 Tiger was released. It’s concept — that you can have different widgets that do different things — has been repeated all over the internet and now in Windows Vista. With the influx of Web 2.0 website offering basically the same functionality, the Dashboard has become outdated and, dare I say, useless. I can’t remember the last time I actually opened the Dashboard willingly — the occasional accidental F12 key strike does the trick — nor actually used a widget. 10.5 Leopard brought a new feature to the Dashboard, the ability to create your own widgets from any website you wanted using a button on Safari. I can safely say, I’ve never used this feature. It’s a good idea, but again, basically useless.
The problem is not the concept, that in and of itself is okay, the problem is usage. It’s a screen that runs in the background and, when pulled up, is ready to go. The problem here is that it sucks up memory causing the entire system to slow. The other problem — and here’s the kicker — is that why would I launch the Dashboard to see what time it is, look at my calendar, check a contact’s email address or see what the weather is when I can simply do that without launching the Dashboard. So maybe part of the problem is the concept after all.
So here’s what I propose: Apple cancel the Dashboard. 10.6 Snow Leopard is set to debut sometime next year and is not actually offering any new features, but rather a promise to slim down the operating system and make it run much more efficiently. Could there be a more perfect time to get rid of something that causes bloat and inefficiency? While people will miss MacWorld, and probably Christmas too, I’m not sure if I know many people who would miss the Dashboard.
Today Apple dropped a few bombshells announcing that they were