Evidently a substitute teacher in Land ‘O Lakes (yeah, the place where the butter comes from) did a magic trick in front of a middle school class. The “30 second” trick involved a toothpick disappearing and reappearing. No context was given but the trick sounds harmless enough. More than likely it was being used to gather the classes attention, it’s middle school after all. After the fact, the teacher got called into the office of the “supervisor of substitute teachers” and was told he was being accused of wizardry. According to the teacher, he thinks this will prevent him from acquiring jobs in the future.

Ok, but wizardry? Wizardry!? Are they serious? I didn’t know that Florida was the new seventeenth century Virginia where the act of witchcraft can have you burned at the stake. I’m assuming that because he was a substitute, and basically just a daily contract employee, he can’t file a wrongful termination suit since there isn’t anything to be terminated from. Maybe he can do something through the Teacher’s Union, but even then probably not. He’ll forever be known as the teacher fired for wizardry, and there something seriously messed up with that.

Foreign Governments
One of the largest factors that raise our oil prices are foreign governments — and particularly their instability. Some of the largest oil producing countries are beds of international turmoil. Nigeria’s oil rich region has been captured by rival warlords who want a share in the countries oil wealth. There is Venezuela who’s extreme leftist president isn’t too fond of America and need I even mention Iran? Their president has threatened stop the exportation of oil if they are sanctioned by the United Nations. And then there is China. While it is not exactly their government that is causing the price of oil to rise but their increased prosperity. In the last few years China has jumped out of nowhere to the second most oil demanding country in the world — behind the US.

Dwindling Supply
Partially because of China’s increased demand, as well as other countries refusal to cut back (including our own), oil supplies are all but gone. If you have ever taken an economics course then you know the principle of Supply and Demand. When there is high demand and little supply the price of a product goes up. Well there you go. There is very little oil and very high demand — almost to the point where there is more demand then supply. When we reach that point and there are massive shortages around the world, the price of oil will be set by whichever country is willing to pay the most for it.

Environmental Lobbyists
Fortunately for us, we’re not to that point yet. In fact, we have enough unrefined oil to sustain us. The problem here in America is that we can’t refine it quick enough. There are only ten oil refineries in the United States. Experts have said that to adequately supply refined oil (gas, home heating, etc) to the country we would need somewhere around five times that number. Why don’t we have more refineries then? Why was the last one built in 1976? Well environmental legislation — proposed and supported by the lobbyists — have put a stranglehold on the industry, making it almost impossible to open new refining plants. There are other laws that have passed which favor the environmental groups and thus raise the price of oil as well. One such is the new ethanol fuel additive law which has been enacted in a number of states. The problem is that, while ethanol is cleaner burning and doesn’t hurt ground water, it dissolves in water. So, unlike the current additive, it can’t be piped from its point of origin to the refineries. It has to be trucked or delivered by train. Since both of these transport methods are slow and rely on the price of gasoline, can you see the catch-22 it presents?

Big Oil
Now I don’t want you getting the idea that I’m anti-environment and pro big oil because that isn’t exactly the case. Big oil is as much to blame as the environmentalists. Big oil has refused to explore cleaner, cheaper methods of fuel production and at the same time are making profits the likes of which no company has ever seen. Billion dollar profits when gas prices are through the roof? Something doesn’t seem right. Senator Charles Schumer (D – NY) has raised the question that perhaps big oil is gouging the American public. While his proposal is more then likely an election year statement, it probably has some validity. Oil refining on the whole is at about 85% capacity right now. Big oil claims this is due to needed repairs stemming from last years hurricane season. Despite their record profits, I can guarantee that the price of those repairs is built into the price of a gallon of gas. It’s no wonder the former Exxon CEO recently walked out the door with a $150 million retirement package.

Politicians
Every US senator, congressmen, and president in the last thirty years is equality to blame. Laws could have been passed requiring big oil to start researching cleaner, cheaper, and more abundant fuel sources. Thirty years ago Brazil’s government passed such a law and by the end of next year they will be 100% oil independent. Our government chose not to pass such legislation. In fact, last year Congress had a chance to finally hold big oil accountable. The CEO’s of the five largest American oil companies were called into a hearing in the Senate. While the idea sounded good, the CEO’s were never sworn in and absolutely nothing was accomplished. It was really just a big political stunt.

Oil Traders
The price of oil is controlled largely by future traders. They have bid the price of oil from roughly $20 a barrel in 2002 to it’s current record price of $75 and change. Traders say that the increase in price is due to a number of factors — most of which we looked at above. While the traders are right, it isn’t that cut and dry. The traders are also to blame. Oil is traded based on speculation and the traders speculate that the world (particularly oil producing countries) is fixing to go to hell in a hand basket. Because of this speculation, the price of oil is bid up. Yesterday, for instance, where oil hit an all time high, the price was bid up higher then it probably should have been in an effort to cover any potential weekend changes in the geopolitical atmosphere. Oil isn’t traded over the weekend so the traders bid the price up, just in case. Make’s sense right?

Ok, let’s take a quick break to look at just who we have to blame for our high fuel costs so far. We’ve got instability of oil rich nations and insane foreign leaders who control the means of production. We’ve got an extreme lack of supply spurred by increased world demand and our own countries inability to refine what supply we do have. We’ve got environmentalists and politicians to blame for that. We’ve got big oil who seems to think change is a bad thing and is making record profits off their stranglehold of the American people. We’ve got oil traders who seem to bid up the price of oil when a fuel tanker catches a flat tire en route to a service station. Is that it? Did I cover everyone? Well, not quite. I’ve got to take that finger of blame and turn it around.

Us
That’s right, you and I are to blame as well. Despite the extreme prices at the pump and in our electric bills, are we doing anything to conserve? Nope. Do we give into the fear that the supply will soon vanish and fill up our tanks and gas cans “just in case?” Yep. The argument can be made that we can’t just stop using gas and that’s true, but we can cut back. We can keep lights off, group errands together, not give into ever idiot on TV who says that there will be disruptions so go fill up now. We can use websites like Gas Buddy to find the cheapest gas and tell big oil that we’re not going to just take what is given to us. We can write our politicians and tell them we’re not going to allow them just standing ideally by smiling at the cameras. We can do what we can to reduce our individual demand.

So who is to blame for our high oil and gas prices? Well, everyone really. The fact is that oil will continue to rise, possibly to $100 a barrel by the end of the summer which translates to somewhere around $5 a gallon at the pump. As scary as that might sound, the prices will continue to rise until something is done and unfortunately, that something has be lead by us. We each have to do what we can and hope that our government, big oil, and the traders follow in line.

Blogs have come a long way since the term was coined almost 7 years ago, when blogs were mostly an extension of one’s personal journal that the world was able to access. Today, blogs have moved to become more topical in nature–just look at the different categories for this years Bloggie Awards. There is a blog for people interested in celebrity gossip, cooking tips, and advertisements–there is even a blog about designing other blogs. But a vast number of blogs out in the some 26.8 million blogs on the internet have to do with news and politics. Technorati, a sort of clearing house for the blogosphere, lists five of the internet’s ten most popular blogs are political opinion in nature.

The political blog became mainstream in America during last year’s heated Presidential election. There were bloggers situated on both sides of the isle evaluating the other sides messages, stance on issues, and ratifying their own. Since then, the blogging world has moved from just being accepted to being embraced by traditional media outlets. NBC’s Dateline features a look at the blogosphere once a week, CNN’s The Situation Room has “internet reporters” who look at bloggers opinions daily, and Slate–an online news magazine owned by the Washington Post/Newsweek has a column called “The Daily Blog” that looks at just that–what the blogosphere is talking about.

Blogs are a way for people to freely deliver information and their opinions to the world–and for the world to respond to them. This open dialog between the reader and the author has never been seen before. Traditional outlets have “letters to the editor” but never has the dialog been conducted in a real time public forum. This free exchange does not come without it’s dangers–in this case the danger is slant.

The traditional media, whether it will admit it or not, contains a bias to either the left or the right. Each paper, magazine or network has it’s own slant either subtle or great. When it comes to the blogosphere, the slant is usually pretty large–and identifiable–thanks to being comprised of opinionated postings. While this is a danger, it is also a strength. Instead of trying to cover their slant under the disguise of fair journalism, blogs embrace it as their raison d’être. This is also, in a very round about way, holding the traditional media to a higher scrutiny. Because traditional outlets are now featuring blogs on their programs and in their pages, they are–for the most part–showcasing both sides of the isle–relating opinions from all vantage points.

The blog has redefined the op-ed piece and will continue to do so in the future. Traditional outlets, in looking at the blogosphere and featuring it’s contents, will in turn be holding themselves more accountable–pushing them toward a truly unbiased relating of the news. Who would have thought the blog could be so powerful?

The chances of nuclear war escalating out of this situation are slim, but the there is another consequence to the current Iran situation–oil. Apparently 50% of the worlds oil passes through Iranian controlled ports, which means, if they wanted to, they could throw a huge wrench into the world oil market. Even though the USA doesn’t receive a single drop of Iranian oil, thanks to various trade embargoes, our price of oil will skyrocket if Iran were to slow down supply. Remember Hurricane Katrina, and the mass panic and fear that oil was going to be interrupted sending gas prices as high as $5 and $6 a gallon in some places? Yeah, we’d be looking at that again, or even worse. So you may be thinking that China and Russia wouldn’t stand for a huge cut in oil production and would step into intervene–or maybe Saudi Arabia would so as not to loose money on oil sales. Fact of the matter is no one seems to know what would happen. Russia buys oil from Iran under the table so maybe nothing would change. Fact of the matter is there are three things that need to happen in the next few months.

First, America has to address our dependency on foreign oil. This means calling the five big oil executives back to congress to testify, this time under oath. They are making money hand over foot thanks to high gas prices and congress should force them to start cutting into their prices to alleviate the price at the pump, and force them to start reinvesting some profits into alternative fuel production–we’ve got enough corn fields to produce ethanol until the cows come home, or what about hydrogen? If we force big oil to pay for the research we’ll have these technologies perfected and running safely in a few years.

Next, we need to open up oil drilling in ANWR, the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Yeah, it’s a wildlife refuge in Alaska that is the ancestral home of two Indian populations. One of the two wants to allow drilling. So that makes one Indian tribe and a boat load of Democrats who constantly kill this bill in the Senate. ANWR drilling would produce one million barrels of oil a day. Granted, it isn’t much but that is one million fewer barrels we have to rely on from the seemingly endless supply of hostel oil rich countries.

The final thing we need to do is enact a regime change in Iran. Though, this time it can’t be done militarily. Iran is simply too large of a country to pull off a successful ground campaign. It would require taking all of the troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan and calling up a boat load of others to pull it off successfully. This is not an option. We know it, Iran knows it, it just wont work. Even if it could, President Bush would never get congress to approve it. So you turn to the UN to place sanctions on Iran. Ok, even if Iran hadn’t recently moved all it’s money to untouchable Swiss accounts, we all know that UN sanctions are next to useless. Alright, so then how do we put pressure on Iran and remove Ahmadinejad from power? The answer lies in the successful fall of Communism fifteen years ago.

Communism fell throughout the world in just a few months because of educated students living in the Communist countries who wanted freedom from oppression. Supposedly there is a huge percentage of the Iranian population that desire the same freedoms though have yet to come forward and act upon it. In fact, we as a country have been waiting for the Iranian situation to solve itself in this way since the Clinton administration. Well, it is now more apparent then ever that the time for a social uprising and potential coup is now. With the inspiration from a few special forces units and CIA agents, the right people in Iran can be convinced that it’s time to act. The way to a safer Iran is through it’s own people. We learned this with the fall of Communism and frankly we are relearning it in Iraq. We just need to light a fire under the Iranian people and get them started.

While the histories books have yet to be written, no one is going to be able to think of 2005 without thinking of Hurricane Katrina. In terms of shear devastation, there hasn’t been a storm to hit America that is quite like Katrina. One of the fiercest storms in recorded history, Katrina killed thousands of people and left New Orleans under water for over a month. Rebuilding is going to take years and the population of the region will never be the same. Katrina also brought racial and economical issues back into the forefront of American politics and because of this the total effect of Hurricane Katrina will not be felt for years to come.

Terrorism was in the news again this year with the horrific train bombings in London. Coordinated attacks went off on three London subway trains and a bus within thirty minutes of each other. London, however, turned the tide and released video footage of the bombers which lead on a swift investigation leading with arrests of other terrorists living and potentially operating in London.

The Supreme Court saw huge changes this year with the resignation of Sandra Day O’Connor and the death of William Rehnquist. John Roberts, first named to replace O’Connor, was then nominated, confirmed, and sworn in as the 17th Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Alito has been nominated for O’Connor’s seat and confirmation hears have been set for early 2006.

Perhaps the biggest story of the last thirty years or so from a religious standpoint was the passing of Pope John Paul II and the Conclave that followed. After four elections, Joseph Ratzinger of Germany was elected the new Pope of the Catholic Church.

For a good portion of the year Nattalee Holloway dominated the news. First it was the story of her disappearance, then of the suspects, and eventually the ineptitude of the Aruban government. While all this coverage is just a little ridiculous, the tragedy of it all is that this girl was probably raped, killed, and dumped in the ocean and a few teenagers are going to essentially get away with the perfect crime.

In the legal world there was the Scott Peterson trial, the crazy ass “Runaway Bride” and of course, the lovable petifile Michael Jackson. Thats right folks, Jacko was acquitted of molesting that boy. There isn’t really much more to say about that case.

While I’m pretty much over writing this article as it became quite boring and I’m sure it’s quite boring to read, I’m going to wrap it up by saying that Iraq held three elections this year. Three. Incredible. Here is to 2006 and what the news will bring us in the coming 365 days. Perhaps I should start campaigning for next years Sexiest Geeks list.

Done.

For a while now both sides of the political isle have been preparing and making threats about what will happen once a vacancy was made in the high court. Now that the time has come, the rhetoric has gotten worse. Seemingly minutes after Justice O’Connor announced her retirement Senate Democrats, led by Ted Kennedy, came out with a statement demanding a moderate nominee. The White House announced no name would be released for at least a week though, a short list is no doubt already in place.

Whoever receives the nomination, however, is no doubt about to face the fight of their lives. Senate approval is required and if you thought the filibuster and so called ‘nuclear option’ talk of a few months ago was bad, just wait–it’s all about to come back. Dems will threaten to filibuster to hold the vote, Republicans will threaten the nuclear option to push the vote. Hopefully this will all be settled before the court begins its next session in October–though it probably won’t.

Whoever comes to replace O’Connor will hopefully bring some common sense back to the court. Lately the rulings handed down from the Supreme Court have been questionable at best. Two opinions referring to displaying the Ten Commandments were rendering practically contradicting each other. In one opinion the Commandments were allowed to be shown in front of a Texas statehouse, in the other it was not allowed to be shown in a Kansas courtroom. Another opinion, which is perhaps the most ludicrous in the past few years, sates that local governments can take private property and give it to another private owner so long as the new owner can build something on the property that generates more tax revenue–i.e. take your house and build a strip mall. Is this fair? No. Does it make sense? No. Has the court lost its mind? It is highly likely.

Part of this has to do with the fact that Supreme Court Justices serve for life. Perhaps term limits are a good idea to bring new blood and fresh ideas to the court. But that will be a debate for another day. For now, Sandra Day O’Connor’s seat is on the table and that is really all that matters.

The first big news story of 2003 was, regrettably, a tragic one. On February 1st, NASA’s shuttle Columbia disintegrated upon reentry killing all seven crew members onboard. This was the first major loss to NASA since the Challenger tragedy in 1986. Debris from the shuttle was found over much of the United States. In August, NASA confirmed that faulty heat-shield tiles were to blame for the disaster and vowed to check every inch of the remaining three shuttles in its fleet. The shuttle program is still grounded and is said to remain so well into 2004.

Arguably the largest story of 2003 is that of the war in Iraq. The problem escalated until March 19th when a coalition of nations — mainly the US and the UK — began Operation Iraqi Freedom. The goal was to finally end Saddam Hussein’s totalitarian rule over the Iraqi people. A swift bombing campaign was followed by a massive swell of ground troops who marched into downtown Baghdad on April 9th. On that day the immense statue of Saddam at the city square was torn down for the world to see. It would be a good eight months later, on December 14th at 7:30am EST when Paul Bremer announced “We got him.” Ironically Saddam’s capture came not in a hale of bullets but with a cowardly surrender.

2003 also saw the first successful recall of a state governor. Gray Davis was effectively thrown out of office with an October 7th vote that in turn installed non other then Arnold Schwarzenegger as the new governor of California. Schwarzenegger vowed, in an extremely impressive inauguration speech, to fix California’s problems and get the power back to the people.

One of the most obnoxious stories of 2003 has to be the constant press that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez — AKA JLo — received. The press focused constantly on the upcoming wedding and how much in love the two were. That was until July 15th with the release of Gigli. Considerably one of the worst pieces of film ever made, (The Internet Movie Database has Gigli ranked in the top 10 of the bottom 100 movies in history. Also up there is From Justin to Kelly.), Gigli bombed at the box office and reports came out saying that the wedding was now off. Frankly I don’t really give a crap what the new story on them is, so I’m ending this segment here.

It’s hard to call it the fad of 2003, but in a way, it kind of is. Severe Acute Repository Syndrome, or SARS for short, swept the globe seemingly instantly killing 750 people in over 25 countries. SARS was a mystery until it was discovered by a scientist who later died from the very virus. The largest concentration of victims seemed to hit in Japan and Toronto. Shortly before the virtual elimination of SARS from the globe, and thus the news, an Asian design firm unveiled designer SARS masks allowing people to stay safe and be fashionable at the same time.

The sports world saw some very odd occurrences in 2003. Tampa Bay won the Super Bowl. The Florida Marlins won the World Series. FSU lost to Georgia in the Orange Bowl and Ohio Sate beat Miami in the Fiesta Bowl to win the National Championship. The Orlando Magic went 1-19 to open their 2003-2004 season and FSU basketball went 9-0 to open theirs. It just goes to show that when it comes to sports you can’t take anything for granted.

Yes, a lot happened in 2003. So much that I have only briefly skimmed the surface with this trice recap. But here’s to the completion of one year and to a great year to come. All of us here at Lone Palm Creations wish everyone a merry Christmas/happy Hanukkah/merry Kwanza and a happy new year!

In today’s local news–which would be Orlando, Florida in case you didn’t know–Universal’s Islands of Adventure is reporting that a man who was riding the Dueling Dragons rollercoaster lost his $13,500 prosthetic leg. Dueling Dragons is an inverted rollercoaster, meaning ones legs dangle from the seats which are suspended to the track above. According to Universal IoA Risk Management, loss of prosthetic legs while aboard Dueling Dragons is quite common. He also reported that dive crews are scouring the lake in which the leg fell and are trying feverishly to find the leg. Moral of this story: make sure you’re leg is firmly attached before riding a rollercoaster.

In a story originally published in the August 18th issue of Newsweek and brought to my attention by the Phillips Phile (a local talk radio show found from 3-7 pm on Real Radio 104.1 or worldwide on XM channel 152), apparently more and more middle and upper class teenagers are becoming prostitutes. Newsweek talked with a girl who calls herself “Stacey” who is a “[c]ute, blonde and chatty” 17 year old living in Minnesota. Evidently, one day while at the Mall of America shopping for new clothes an older man approached “Stacey” and offered to buy her clothes so he could see her in them. She agreed and went home with $250 worth of new threads. From there “Stacey” started to strip for money in hotel rooms and that evidently lead to sex. She reportedly set up a voicemail box on a dating service looking for well off men looking for a good time. “Stacey’s” going rate? $400. What do her parents think? Well, until she was arrested, her parents didn’t know. “Stacey” would tell them she was going to the mall or friends and be sure to be home before midnight, her curfew. What did “Stacey” have to say about this? “Potentially good sex is a small price to pay for the freedom to spend money on what I want.” The FBI and other agencies are calling this “Designer Sex”–meaning that teens are having sex in order to afford designer clothes or electronics. In the end, “Stacey” was caught after a typical hotel meeting with her and two other teenagers turned out to be set up by an undercover detective. Oops. Moral of this story: screen your phone calls.

I mentioned earlier that Schwarzenegger is running for governor of California. Let me quickly run down some of the other people on the California ballot. Garry Coleman, the “cute little black midget” (Bubba Whoop Ass Wilson) who stared on Different Strokes, is running not to win, but to bring others to the polls. How thoughtful. “Hustler” publisher Larry Flint is running and actually expects to win. I don’t know about you but if he runs his campaign anything like that movie about him (‘The People vs. Larry Flint’) he might have a chance. Apparently there are a few other porn stars, some politicians including California’s current Lt. Governor, the capital buildings janitor and yes, me. Not really. However, there are roughly 200 people on the ballot because, well, all it takes in $3,500 and 65 signatures to be there. But if you ask me, my money is on Arnold. Heavily underrated by pretty much everyone, Arnold is quite intelligent and–I believe–has what it takes to turn that state around. Though, come October we’ll see what the faithful people of California (saw it in an Arnold voice) have to say. Moral of this story: when you can’t find other weird stuff in the news, default to crazy political happenings.

And finally, I saw that this evening the annual Miss Teen USA Pageant is on NBC. You know what this means, a whole new flock of prostitutes out on the streets.

Anyway, onto our second story which comes to us from Sarasota, Florida:
Legendary Skunk Ape is REAL
Long and short of this article is that there has been a “gigantic, shaggy, Bigfoot-like creature with glowing eyes, crouching in the bushes” of Florida since 1947. Skunkape Please note the picture of our friend the Skunk Ape to the left here (this picture was taken from a website solely devoted to the Skunk Ape; click the picture to visit that cracked out site). Now I’ve done my share of camping in the woods of Florida over the years and I’ve never run across the “legendary Skunk Ape.” But this article, which includes two pictures of the Skunk Ape, talks about a Mrs. Cheray Summers who recently ran into the Skunk Ape and happened to have her camera. What a lucky coincidence! Now that the existence of the Skunk Ape has been proven (mind you one of these pictures looks like there’s some sort of tag flipped up around Mr. Skunk Ape’s neck line) the “famed cryptozoologist Andrew Sutfield” is offering a “$1 million reward to anyone who captures the Skunk Ape” alive and unhurt and then brings it to his research institute it Cambridge, England. Now this Skunk Ape is supposed to be around “6 or 7 feet” according to Mrs. Summers, our famous Skunk Ape photographer. All I want to know is how in the hell am I supposed to capture the Skunk Ape without hurting it, and then get it to England. Do you suppose Virgin Atlantic will sell me a business class ticket for the Skunk Ape? I didn’t think so.

Our third story comes out of New York, New York.
Man Pulls Gun on Clerk Over a Slice of Cheesecake – Say Cops!
I know, you’re already thinking oh boy. Well, it’s New York, all those people are crazy so just give it a chance. “Police sources say the man got into an argument with the clerk over the price of the cheesecake. Then he pulled out a 9mm handgun and demanded the clerk open the cash register.” I’ve heard of Road Rage, but never… Bakery Rage. What is the world coming to?

Story four comes out of Aldridge, England. Those crazy Brits.
New Chastity Belt is Pick-Proof!
“Operational Resources, a top British security firm, has been commissioned to provide miniature combination locks for Lovelocks, one of the world’s top suppliers of chastity belts. The new, pick-proof locks will now make it virtually impossible for would-be cheaters to slip out of the chastity belts – only their mates will know the secret combination.” All I’ve got to say is wow. If you don’t trust your “mate” enough to go out in public without locking their… um… yeah, then you need a new “mate.”

Story five comes from Indiana and once again revisits the crazy people of that state. I swear, all Indianans are nuts.
‘Hoosiers’ isn’t the Only Wacky Name Native to Indiana!
I’m not commenting on this one, the story doesn’t need any. Just read: “When James Splatters of Speedway, Ind., worked as a housepainter for a number of years, he figured Splatters was a name hard to forget – and it was good for business. Splatters is just one of many people in Indiana whose names match their jobs. Take Stephen I. Ball, for example, an optometrist in Bloomington, or Lawrence Lawhead, and attorney in Indianapolis. Do some people do what they do because of their names? Consider Joey Musselman, a fitness consultant, and George Wheeler, a long-distance truck driver, both of Indianapolis. Then there’s a security guard – named Jerry Frisk! In Mulberry, Ind., not too many years ago, Susan Eatwell actually met and married a fellow named Douglas Burpitt. In Shelbyville, a man named Golden Silver was a dentist – and he had a brother named Sterling. Also in Indianapolis, we find Bud Starling writing a Column about birds for the Indianapolis Star, and Bob Drybread delivering goods for a local bakery. Then there’s Marvin T. Trotter, who opened a podiatry clinic in Indy and called it the Trotter Foot Clinic.”

Well folks there you have it. I hope you have learned something, or at least have had a few laughs because I sure have. Maybe we’ll have some more Weekly World News in the future; that is if I feel like putting up the $2 for the paper. HA! “The Paper” is what Charlie’s mother refers to the WWN in the movie So I Married an Axe Murderer. Thanks and enjoy!

It was Wednesday night when Saddam Hussein’s time came to an end, so to speak. In case you aren’t too clear as to what has been going on, here is a quick refresher:

After the Gulf War of 1991, the United Nations declared that Saddam Hussein was to stop producing weapons of mass destruction and that he was to open his doors to weapons inspectors and grant them full access to Iraq. Well, around 1994 something happened and Saddam threw out the inspectors. Seven years later the events of September 11th took place and America became completely aware of the fact that our security is not what the worlds most powerful nations should be. So, massive amounts of funds were pumped back into government agencies that protect America. The Department of Homeland Security was created and added to the President’s Cabinet. Inelegance became streaming through the proper channels at various agencies such as the CIA, FBI, NSA, etc. like which had not been seen (since funding had been cut years ago of course). This inelegance discovered that, after throwing out the inspectors, Saddam had continued to create weapons of mass destruction as well as fund and harbor terrorists including members of Al Queda. Our government decided to finally hold Saddam accountable for his responsibility to the UN.

In September of 2001 the UN Security Council unanimously passed resolution 1441 which again called for the disarmament of Iraq. For the first time in years, weapons inspectors were again allowed into Iraqi facilities. Though, just as had happened years ago, there was much suspicion that what was being showed to the inspectors was not the complete picture of the current state of Iraqi weapons. In January, Colon Powel presented the UN Security Council with (what I believe to be the most powerful and well delivered speech I have seen to date) actual US inelegance photos, satellite imagery, audio recordings of phone conversations, witness accounts, and other compiled information that proved that Iraq was not holding up their end of the bargain. More time passed as other countries disagreed and believed that the inspectors were doing a great job in Iraq.

Though, the truth of the matter is, the inspectors were not addressing all they found. Key evidence discovered by the UN inspection team, though addressed in the report, was not addressed to the Security Council. America, along with Britain, decided that enough was enough. If Saddam was not going to follow the rules after 12 years, he was never going to do so. Britain drafted a new resolution to be voted upon by the Security Council that would issue Saddam an ultimatum. However, lacking significant support among the council members, along with the report that France (one of only five countries on the UN Security Council that has the power to veto resolutions–the others being the United States, the UK, Russia, and China) would veto any such resolution brought forth; America and Britain decided to take matters into their own hands and withdrew the resolution.

This past Monday, the 17th, at 8:00pm Eastern Time President Bush gave Saddam Hussein 48 hours to decide upon the fate of his regime. Bush told Saddam that he had 48 hours to leave Iraq or face the consequences. The next morning, Saddam rejected this offer and, consequently sealed his fate. On Wednesday the 19th at around 10:00pm Eastern Time, or dawn in Iraq, Baghdad received its first barrage of bombings. The war had begun.

Though, it was earlier than planned. Intelligence was received that showed Saddam, as well as one of his sons, were conducting a meeting in a bunker found in Baghdad. That bunker was sub sequentially hit with 38 missiles and bombs. It was not, and still has not been confirmed whether or not Saddam survived the attack. Though, within hours a televised statement was given by Saddam (it is a possibility that it could have been one of Saddam’s look alikes or possibly even taped) saying that “criminal junior Bush” would not be allowed to get away with this.

No more than 24 hours later Baghdad was hit more firepower than was seen during the Gulf War. 1500 satellite and laser guided bombs and missiles were dropped within the first 24 hours of the attack. The US and British forces were conducting what has been referred to as the “Shock and Awe” campaign, where at first you shock your opponents with the force of your military (the bombings) and then you awe them by giving them time to assess the damage before sending in troops. In the first few days of bombings and combat numerous Iraqi soldiers surrendered to Collation Forces (the term collation refers to all countries participating in the disarmament of Iraq). As the bombings continued our troops continued their way north through Iraq towards the capital of Baghdad, seizing critical ports, towns, roads, and oil fields along the way. Currently our forces are experiencing their harshest resistance thus far in a town called Nasiriya, which is a very critical and strategic placement on the road to Baghdad.

This is where we are right now. Bombs are still dropping on Baghdad. Our troops are reported to be so close to the capital city they can see the lights at night. Though, the war is not over and it surly has not been as easy as it appears to have been thus far. Some of our soldiers have already given their lives fighting. One of our own soldiers, in an act of terrorism and defiance, threw a grenade into a tent housing his fellow American troops severally wounding some and killing others. Helicopters have crashed, planes have gone down. It has even been reported that Iraqi troops have taken American soldiers and journalists prisoner–and aired them on Iraqi television as well as the bodies of others they had killed.

Yet, somehow, here in the United States of America, thousands of miles away, people seem to believe this is wrong. They think that we should not have had to go to war, that a peaceful resolution could have been achieved. And so, through various forms of expression, these people choose to protest the war, the government, and anything else they see fit. To these people I say, wake the hell up.

Saddam Hussein is not a man who agrees peacefully. He has gassed his own people. He tested his chemical and biological weapons, which he clams he does not have nor create, on prisoners from his jails. He has ruled Iraq under a fierce dictatorship for over 20 years. He has even killed his own son-in-laws. Saddam Hussein is a tyrant that has been given every opportunity to resolve matters peacefully. He refused 12 years ago when he decided to take over Kiewit, and he refused a week ago when asked to leave Iraq and spare his people this bloodshed.

I’m not necessarily pro war or pro violence, though in this situation war seems to be the only recourse of action. I agree that it is sad that men and women, many of whom are my own age, are giving their lives in a battle to disarm a terrorist halfway around the world. However, I commend these extremely brave and valiant heroes for doing what it takes to keep America, myself, and even the bastards that are protesting them safe.

The war is not over yet. I don’t know when it will end. Though, until it does I will keep myself informed and continue to support our troops. I ask you to do so as well. There are people dieing to keep you safe, the least you can do is support them.