Lost in Translation
This is a fantastic movie about two people who find each other while both are more or less lost in Tokyo. It’s the movie that re-introduced us to Bill Murray’s hilarity and introduced us to the beauty of Scarlett Johansson’s butt. It’s sweet, it’s well written and directed by Sofia Coppola, it’s a great movie.
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Azumi
According to Netflix I enjoy movies that feature a strong female lead, revenge movies, and Japanese movies. Azumi meets all three categories in one film so it’s no wonder that Netflix recommended it. It’s the story of a girl, Azumi, who is orphaned and adopted by a Samurai master and raised, along with a group of other kids, to become the strongest assassins in Japan’s history. The reason? Kill the warlords who are hellbent on taking power and forcing the nation into constant war. Obviously the warlords don’t like this idea and do everything they can to stop Azumi and her fellow assassins. It’s pretty great, especially if you like foreign films featuring stylistic violence. And really, who doesn’t?
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

The International
This is a “suspense thriller” about a bank that does very bad things. Strangely, a New York District Attorney and an INTERPOL agent are working together on an international investigation. It doesn’t make any sense to me, but maybe it does to you. The movie tries to be way more suspenseful than it is, even uses the cliché piano music to do so. There is a pretty sweet shootout in the Guggenheim, but really, that’s about all this movie has going for it. The plot is convoluted and silly and the suspense is added by the bucket — if this were a comedy there would have been an old fashioned laugh tracked added. It just comes off silly.
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

When Harry Met Sally
Apparently this is a classic movie that everyone’s seen, at least a certain scene from, but I had never seen. It’s cute, it’s got some pretty funny lines, and overall it’s pretty good.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Avatar
The mega-hyped, mega-budgeted James Cameron flick about a completely invented world of giant human-like blue people certainly lives up to the special effects and action hype. Surprisingly, unlike all of the reviews, the storyline is very engrossing and solid as well. It’s nothing new and the major themes are all taken from just about everything else out there, but it’s still a really good movie and a really fun ride. I didn’t see it in IMAX or Digital 3D (what the hell is that anyway?) and am glad I didn’t as I’m almost certain it would have given me a headache.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Sherlock Holmes
I submit that Robert Downey Jr. is the best actor working in Hollywood today — especially when it comes to rich, eccentric, recluses. While the storyline for Sherlock Holmes is, at times, a little hard to follow Downey’s portrayal is amazing. It was fun and the directing was pretty awesome. The only thing I didn’t really like was the blatant sequel setup at the end of the movie. Can we have quality movies in Hollywood anymore without thinking about a sequel, at least until a few days after the movie comes out?
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

The Incredibles
The Pixar story about a family of super heros who must actually get along in order to stop an evil mastermind is fun and silly and simply enjoyable. The first bit of the movie, explaining the super hero exile from public life, is basically a kid-friendly version of Watchmen. I found that interesting.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Sky High
I like movies about super heroes and usually don’t care for things on the Disney Channel, but this is a movie that I actually enjoyed. It’s unique and cleaver and just plain fun. It’s about a high school for super hero kids that are trying to figure out how to use their powers. There’s a class war between the heroes and sidekicks hero support and, well, a real war. It’s fun. Watch it.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Elf
See November
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Sunshine Cleaning
This is about two sisters who aren’t really do much with their lives and decide to start a crime scene cleanup business. It’s a quarky movie with some laughs but takes a brief, but very unexpected turn. Wonder what I’m talking about? Just follow the storyline of the youngest sister. There isn’t a lot of character development, or depth for that matter, but it’s entertaining.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Objectified
This is a documentary on industrial design by the same group that created Helvetica. It’s a fascinating look at what makes up good design and why and a conversation with those who are doing it, including Jonathan Ive who is the lead designer at Apple. If you’re a design nerd, you’ll enjoy this.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Space Camp
This is one of the best bad movies to come out of the 80′s. It stars a bunch of people, like Kate Capshaw, Kelly Preston, Lea Thompson and a very young Joaquin Phoenix. The premiss is that a group of kids attending space camp end up being launched into space, for real. Why? Well, basically Phoenix’s character, Max, falls in love with a robot, Jinx, who talks to the NASA computers and figures a way to get him on a real launch. I kid you not. But it’s great. Check it out! It has some pretty great 80′s music as well, including a song that landed on my celebrity playlist last year.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

The Blind Side
Going in I thought this was going to be a sappy, tearjerker style movie; I was wrong. It was funny, poignant and an amazing story. If you haven’t seen this yet, go do so. It’s worth the cost to see it in the theater.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Kind of hard to not like a Charlie Kaufman story and this is no exception. What happens when people in a relationship decide to forget each other? A wicked trip to Jim Carrey’s mind is what. Did I mention Charlie Kaufman wrote it? What more do you need to know?
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Star Trek
I was never a Star Trek fan growing up, though I did enjoy watching episodes of The Next Generation. But that doesn’t really count I guess. Either way, I didn’t really know the difference between a Romulan and a Vulcan before putting in JJ Abrams Star Trek reboot. This was probably a good thing as all of the characters are re-introduced in a very cool story involving time travel and evil aliens. I really liked this movie and it’s well worth checking out.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Elf
I’m no Will Ferrell fan, but this was actually a funny movie. It’s silly and quirky and has Zooey Deschanel and, get this, was directed by Jon Favreau — yeah, Swingers‘ Jon Favreau. Crazy, right?
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Angels & Demons
While The Da Vinci Code was a horrible adaptation of the book, this was a much better movie. Imagine that, considering this was the better of the two books as well.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Dogma
Kevin Smith and the story of two renegade angels trying to get back into heaven. Need I say more?
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Couples Retreat
Four couples go on a trip to an all inclusive resort for fun in the sun but instead find they have to attend couples therapy sessions. If they didn’t sense a problem before the trip, they do once the therapy begins. Typical Vince Vaughn hijinks ensue. Not bad, but not what I was expecting at all.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Love Actually
A number of different love stories are told at the same time and they all intertwine somehow. Some are simple, some are complicated, most are pretty cute. Pretty good film.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Where the Wild Things Are
While the book is for children, the movie is not. It’s more intense than I remember the book being and, well, pretty dark. And someone needs to get Max to therapy because the boy is clearly autistic.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Watchmen
Having read the book this film was almost identical to every frame in the pages. It takes a cue from Sin City in that regard. But Watchmen was pretty great and the musical selections were awesome. The only oddity: the ending was changed. I didn’t care for that too much.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Up
This movie is fantastic. Sad in the right places, hilarious in others. Best movie I’ve seen in a while. If you haven’t seen it, you need to go do so right now. Do it. Go.
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
This movie is so messed up it’s not even funny. It’s part one in Chan-wook Park’s ‘revenge trilogy’ where Old Boy is part two. Given that Old Boy is amazing — all but extremely twisted — I should have known what I was getting myself into. Unlike part two in his series, Park waited about 100 minutes to get to the exciting part and instead focused on building the story and making everyone want to tear their eyes out. That’s all I got.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Ong-Bak
Brutally violent muay Tai action yet somewhat comical dialogue. Worth your time.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Valkyrie
Pretty good story about how some Nazi’s tried to kill Hitler. Tom Cruise was still Tom Cruise though.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

9
Pretty cool little story about creatures created to save the world, after mankind destroys it. I liked the twins the best.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Across the Universe
Someone made a movie based on the music of the Beatles. How amazing is that? And to top it off, the movie is awesome.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

The Collector
This sucks, don’t see it. I don’t even know what it’s about. I walked out after 15 minutes and ended up seeing:
Rating: 0 out of 5 stars

The Hangover
This is the funniest movie I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s hilarious. A group of friends go on a bachelor party in Vegas and wake up without a single memory from the night before. All they know is their friend is missing, there’s a random baby in the closet, and a tiger in the bathroom. It’s awesome. You just might want to close your eyes during the credits. I’m just saying.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

The Soloist
What’s with all these movies starting with ‘the’? Anyway, this is one man’s exquisite attempt to find friendship and meaning in a post-9/11 world. In the process, he meets a man who will soon change his life. Ok, this isn’t what the movie is about, but it could be based on the box art. This movie was good. I mean, I think it was. I don’t really remember.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Push
Evidently there are people who live among the rest of us who happen to have special abilities. They choose to hide these abilities in order to hide from the government, who wants to round everyone up and turn them into weapons. Sound familiar? Probably since there’s a pretty bad tv show with a similar story. Anyway, this movie was alright and the climax was pretty unique — yeah, I just said climax, deal with it. Anyway, it’s a solid movie and stars Dijmon Hounsou, so you can’t really go too far wrong. I don’t even know what that means…
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Wall-E
If there is a better commentary on the state of our society, I haven’t seen it. So until I do, Wall-E will have to do. There’s very little dialog, but the point comes across loud and clear. We’re fat, we’re lazy, and we are massive consumers. But if we take a few minutes to actually look at the world around us, we just might like what we have to see (or not). Either way, we might get pushed to do something about it. It was a sweet movie. Was it worthy of all the Best Picture controversy it stirred up? I don’t know, but Wall-E is worth seeing.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Balls of Fury
Looking at the Netflix page for this movie, I find is extremely surprising that Roger Ebert gave this film three out of five stars. It was pretty much horrible. The plot was mindless, the acting poor, and the jokes unfunny. Which is exactly what I needed in my post-surgery, pain induced state. Still, the movie merits the worst rating in Year in Movies history. Don’t bother with it.
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

The Rocketeer
Even though I haven’t seen this movie in about fifteen years, as soon as those hanger doors open all those awesome memories came flooding back. It’s the story of a fly-boy who comes across an Howard Hughes prototype rocket pack that is being hunted by the FBI, mafia and an undercover Nazi spy. Other than Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade there is no greater plot involving beating up Nazi’s in the history of cinema! This movie is great. Jennifer Connelly is beautiful and Terry O’Quinn plays a way better Howard Hughes than the guy in that crappy Scorsese flick.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Payback: Straight Up: The Director’s Cut
Payback is about a guy who gets screwed out of $70,000 and he decided to kill everyone until he gets it back. Yeah, just $70,000. I know it’s not that much. It’s kind of the point. I really enjoyed the original version of this film so I figured I’d give the director’s cut a spin. Unlike most director cuts, Payback brings massive changes to the movie. Most noticeably? The black and white presentation is thrown out for a washed out color print. The ending also changes dramatically from the original. Despite the massive changes, I still like the cut. It brings a slightly different look at Porter’s quest to be paid back. Yeah, I went there.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Slumdog Millionare
See my write up from April.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Fanboys
Staring a whole bunch of nobodies and Kristen Bell, Fanboys is the story of a group of friends who attempt to break into the Skywalker Ranch in order to see Episode I before it’s released. The reason? One of the friends is dying and wont make the release date. Despite the underlaying reason for the adventure, the movie is downright hilarious and throws a nice nod to Star Wars fans. There are cameos from just about everyone working in Hollywood including Billy Dee Williams and Carrie Fisher. It’s a great movie well worth your hour and a half.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

The Wrestler
If you’re looking for a feel-good movie about a broken down old man who finds redemption upon reaching out to his estranged daughter and stripper girlfriend, this isn’t your movie. Mickey Rourke deserved all the awards and nominations, but the ending of the film (though justified) left a bitter taste on the whole thing. It’s alright, but not worth a repeat viewing — unless you’re a glutton for punishment.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
From Premiere‘s Robert Calvert:

It is unapologetic about delivering what it promises. Bigger battles. Massive explosions. Megan Fox looking hot.

If that’s all you’re looking for then Transformers 2 delivers. Though if you’re looking for something a bit more, something with an actual story that makes sense, then Transformers 2 is not a movie for you. Thing is the movie isn’t bad, it’s just not good. Just about everything that takes place in the film is pointless and, at times, ridiculous. Cinematical has a nice list of seven absurdities and it’s a pretty good evaluation of the film as a whole. Though I’d add two more absurdities to the list: The hot college girl who’s really a violent Decepticon with a crazy tail and tongue and the fact that everything in the film left a “why didn’t they do that before” question in my head. If all you’re looking for is a popcorn movie, or the chance to see Megan Fox on a giant screen, then go see the film. If you actually want to be able to tell the different Transformers apart, or actually see what they’re doing, you might want to skip it.
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Megan Fox's 'acting' was good enough to merit $387 million dollars at the worldwide box office over opening weekend.

Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder
This is the final of the four Futurama movies and it’s certainly feels like it. It’s a story that follows a group of feminist eco-terrorists that are trying to do something. I don’t really remember but it has to do with Mars. Anyway, once again Fry is the only person in the universe that has the ability to prevent the end of the world — there’s a few jokes made about that which I liked. The whole cast and crew is there and the film ends the series in style — well, not really. The ending leaves everything up in the air and makes me miss the actual series finale, “The Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings,” which is a work of brilliance. It’s alright, but not wonderful.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Get Smart
When I was a kid I was a huge fan of the old Get Smart reruns. The goofy spy who talked into his shoe and entered his base through a phonebooth was a lot of fun to watch. In this remake Steve Carell plays Maxwell Smart and the lovely Anne Hathaway plays Agent 99. The writing is great and Steve Carell’s comedic timing is perfect, as per usual. There’s a few nods to other spy/espionage/clandestine movies, notably the laser scene from Entrapment. I was laughing throughout the movie and enjoyed every bit of it.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Agent 99 and Maxwell Smart have slightly different tactics.

Taken
There’s one thing about Liam Neeson that is more true than anything else: he’s got massive hands. I first realized this while watching Les Miserables in high school. There’s a scene where he basically palms Cosette’s head and considering she was played by Claire Danes that’s saying a lot. After watching Taken I’ve realized another thing about Liam Neeson: he’s awesome. Taken is about an ex-CIA something whose daughter is kidnapped while vacationing in Paris. Neeson then goes to Paris and kills a lot of people while trying to get her back. The movie was written by Luc Besson so of course it’s basically awesome from the start. Go watch it, that’s about all I have to say. Oh, but someone needs to tell Maggie Grace that playing a teenager means more than just running around and hugging everyone by the neck. Good thing she’s only in about twelve minutes of the movie.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

The Mexican
A girl I knew in college told me to watch this movie so I did, four years later. It’s about a gun that Brad Pitt is supposed to steal. The bad guys send Tony Soprano James Gandolfini to watch over Pitt’s girlfriend, Julia Roberts. There’s a few wacky things that happen and a few filming gimmicks — like the traffic light — but overall the film is done in by the plot. It’s almost as if they tried to hard to write in the double and triple cross and didn’t pay enough attention to the story they were actually telling. Then, in the end, the actual story is told in about three minutes right before the film’s climax.
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Terminator: Salvation
As a friend of mine said:

Terminator 1 was good, Terminator 2 was really good, Terminator 3 was pretty good so Terminator 4 should be really, pretty good.

It’s a logic that makes sense and in actuality I guess it’s also true. T4 was “good” in the sense it was an entertaining movie. It didn’t, however, really have any significance in the overall Terminator story line. One of my friends told me that McG, the director, basically said the film was pointless in an interview but I couldn’t find it. There were a lot of flaws and some people are asking whose to blame, I’ll point the finger at Christian Bale for being a pre-madona and forcing a rewrite of the whole thing. Don’t let all this fool you, the movie isn’t horrible. It’s a solid and entertaining action flick that just doesn’t really seem to fit into the overall Terminator line. Maybe McG’s 30+ minutes of deleted scenes will change the overall tone of the film and make it a little more worthwhile.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Serenity
Because FOX completely mistreated and mishandled Firefly from the start the series ended without any proper closure. River had just awoken and brought a whole bunch of interesting story possibilities that would never see light. Fortunately, the Browncoats rose up and Universal gave Serenity a final mission. The movie starts showing what could have been: River being taken on jobs to serve as protection for Mal and co. But the real story the movie focuses on is the dark secrets that River has trapped in her head that the Alliance so badly wants. It’s a pretty quality movie in it’s own right, but watched at the end of rewatching Firefly it’s the perfect series finale.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Choke
Chuck Palahniuk, the author who gave us Fight Club, is the author who also wrote Choke. Like Fight Club and Survivor, another of his books, Choke features a darker look at the world then we’re probably used to and explores some twisted characters. Choke is about love and a man’s quest to discover who he is. Because Palahniuk wrote it it’s a lot more complicated than that, but you get the idea. Sam Rockwell stars and, if you’ve never seen Rockwell in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind you don’t know what you’re missing — he plays slightly disturbed and borderline psychotic extremely well. Choke has some funny moments and, like all of Palahniuk’s works, an interesting twist you don’t see coming. Check it out if you’re into his other works.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Over the last decade or so the overall quality of product that Hollywood has been producing has reduced significantly. We’ve been given such a heavy dose of sequels, rebrands and cookie-cutter comedies that we as movie-going patrons have forgotten what a good movie actually is. Hollywood has force-fed us what they want us to have, and we’ve devoured it. Look at these upcoming releases: an X-Men sequel, Star Trek rebrand, Da Vinci Code prequel, Night at the Museum sequel and Terminator sequel — and that’s just this May. I kid you not!

So if everything that Hollywood is throwing at us is a rehashing of something we’ve already seen, why are we going to see it? It’s actually really simple: boobs, blood, booms and brainlessness. Everything Hollywood creates has copious amounts of these four things which translate into cold, hard cash. It’s no coincidence that all of the movies mentioned above are rated PG-13 or below (Terminator Salvation is not yet rated, but unconfirmed reports suggest a PG-13 rating). The highest sought demographic in any market, but especially Hollywood, are teenagers. So production companies figure out just how many boobs, blood, booms and brainlessness they can fit in while maintaining that coveted PG-13 rating so as to effectively rope in that sought demographic’ money. Want to know why there are fifteen versions of Saw, nine Step Up‘s, a new Superbad copycat every summer and people like Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf have careers? Because teenagers spend $70 million on Fast and Furious on opening weekend.

It’s a vicious cycle. Hollywood creates the same few movies year after year, makes sure there is a good balance of boobs, blood, booms and brainlessness and teenagers go out and spend millions of their parents dollars seeing them. There’s no incentive to actually tell an original story because you can make much more money by remaking Friday the 13th for the tenth time.

So what’s wrong with Hollywood? We are. We’re the problem. We’re not demanding originality and creativity by actually going to see the few unique films that make the screen. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button opened to a measly $26 million. How can that even compare to Fast and Furious? We’re to blame.

So let’s fix it. Let’s start championing originality and start loathing useless boobs, blood, booms and brainlessness. Next Friday instead of seeing Beyonce in Obsessed (which I’ll put money on today to win the weekend) go see The Soloist instead. Let’s take Hollywood back and maybe, just maybe, I won’t have to ask “what’s wrong with Hollywood” in another four years.

Body of Lies
A CIA operative, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, is caught up playing both sides while trying to catch an elusive terrorist. Do you like that sentence? I think I could write plot lines for the back of DVD cases. Probably not. Either way, that’s what this movie’s about and there really isn’t much more to it. It’s fairly slow moving despite it’s intense-ish plot, the actual story doesn’t start to unfold until halfway through, and because of all that you’re left wanting a little more than is actually given.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Megan Fox doing what she does best.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
What starts off as one man’s somewhat funny search for Shangri-La turns into nothing more than a poorly conceived and carried out romantic comedy. Simon Pegg plays a writer who gets in over his head when he tries to become rich and famous and somehow get with the hot new movie star played by Megan Fox. One thing I did learn from this movie is that when Michael Bay told Megan Fox to “just look hot” in Transformers 2 it was because that’s about all she’s good at doing — because she’s a terrible actress. Hot, yes. Good actress, no. I’d skip this one unless you really, really like Simon Pegg or Megan Fox.
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Futurama: Bender’s Game
In the third of the four planned Futurama movies the Planet Express crew faces a dark matter shortage, Bender becomes addicted to Dungeons and Dragons, and Lela has to own up to her anger issues. Throw in a little Lord of the Rings action and an ultimate battle of good vs. evil and you’ve basically got the movie in a nutshell. Frankly, anything that the Futurama team does is at the very least halfway decent. As such, Bender’s Game is good for your usual witty humor and animated slapstick.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Boondock Saints
The movie was released in 1999 shortly after the Columbine massacre and, because it was considered to violent, was slightly edited and sent straight to DVD. Since, it’s become something of a cult classic. For me, it’s become a Saint Patrick’s Day tradition to watch the Boondock Saints. The movie is about two brothers who, after an unfortunate circumstance, decide to start removing evil from society. Their tactics aren’t exactly lawful, but are they just? Great movie.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

E Nomini Patri, E fili, E Spiritu Sancti

The Transporter 3
Like I said last month, I love just about everything Luc Besson does. Unfortunately he had just about nothing to do with The Transporter 3. Scanning the credits at the open, I noticed he didn’t direct and merely had a co-writing nod. I figured I’d give the film a try anyway, the first two were decent. I only made it through the first thirty minutes before I sent it back to Netflix. It was all more of the same. Frank got into two fights with a dozen or guys twice in the first thirty minutes. The second one was when I decided to call it a day. Oh well. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for that type of film.
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars