Year in Movies: March
Welcome to the feature everyone’s been waiting for, the Year in Movies! It was a slow month for movie watching and a busy one for the rest of my life. The two might be connected, I don’t know. You be the judge. Either way, here’s what I watched in March.
Body of Lies
A CIA operative, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, is caught up playing both sides while trying to catch an elusive terrorist. Do you like that sentence? I think I could write plot lines for the back of DVD cases. Probably not. Either way, that’s what this movie’s about and there really isn’t much more to it. It’s fairly slow moving despite it’s intense-ish plot, the actual story doesn’t start to unfold until halfway through, and because of all that you’re left wanting a little more than is actually given.
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Megan Fox doing what she does best.
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
What starts off as one man’s somewhat funny search for Shangri-La turns into nothing more than a poorly conceived and carried out romantic comedy. Simon Pegg plays a writer who gets in over his head when he tries to become rich and famous and somehow get with the hot new movie star played by Megan Fox. One thing I did learn from this movie is that when Michael Bay told Megan Fox to “just look hot” in Transformers 2 it was because that’s about all she’s good at doing — because she’s a terrible actress. Hot, yes. Good actress, no. I’d skip this one unless you really, really like Simon Pegg or Megan Fox.
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Futurama: Bender’s Game
In the third of the four planned Futurama movies the Planet Express crew faces a dark matter shortage, Bender becomes addicted to Dungeons and Dragons, and Lela has to own up to her anger issues. Throw in a little Lord of the Rings action and an ultimate battle of good vs. evil and you’ve basically got the movie in a nutshell. Frankly, anything that the Futurama team does is at the very least halfway decent. As such, Bender’s Game is good for your usual witty humor and animated slapstick.
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Boondock Saints
The movie was released in 1999 shortly after the Columbine massacre and, because it was considered to violent, was slightly edited and sent straight to DVD. Since, it’s become something of a cult classic. For me, it’s become a Saint Patrick’s Day tradition to watch the Boondock Saints. The movie is about two brothers who, after an unfortunate circumstance, decide to start removing evil from society. Their tactics aren’t exactly lawful, but are they just? Great movie.
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E Nomini Patri, E fili, E Spiritu Sancti
The Transporter 3
Like I said last month, I love just about everything Luc Besson does. Unfortunately he had just about nothing to do with The Transporter 3. Scanning the credits at the open, I noticed he didn’t direct and merely had a co-writing nod. I figured I’d give the film a try anyway, the first two were decent. I only made it through the first thirty minutes before I sent it back to Netflix. It was all more of the same. Frank got into two fights with a dozen or guys twice in the first thirty minutes. The second one was when I decided to call it a day. Oh well. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for that type of film.
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